march madness

I've been waiting.
for the intangibles
Its pointless,really.
Causing
uneccessary stress,
increased anxiety,
and
optimism and hope
that have potential
to result fruitlessly.


pauline oh pauline.
you are waiting for 3 things:
1. acceptances (see how good i am)
2. knowing where i'm going ( future)
3. people to talk to me....(ah, i miss you)

If someone would ask me, what makes you dissapointed, I would say:
My greatest dissapointment is finding out how someone that I thought "loved me" (friend love) doesn't. Honestly, it freaking hurts soo much. It's been a month since I've talked to the fool, and I have been strong.

When is the right time to try again? Saving a relationship with him is more important than looking like a clingy ex. I'm willing to look like a fool and fall flat on my face, then just give up on something special.
fuck him if he doesn't care.

honestly, if he doesn't..FML. seriously, I don't deserve that crap.

maybe he doesn't know i want him to call..maybe he doesn't know how im feeling,
maybe he feels the same way...

Why do i always sympathize with my avenger? im just incredibly optimistic and confident in other people.

ugh. i really hope he does something....soon!